Size lABELS Matters

It's not nice to label, but it's even more not nice to write lABELS with a confusing lowercase L. This is another interesting case in which a single word contains two L's, one uppercase and one lowercase. It would make slightly more sense if the uppercase L started the word. and the lowercase L was placed second. What happened here? Did the lABEL maker realize his mistake midway through and try to redeem himself with an uppercase L?

Anna NICOlE

By now you have been inundated with news about the untimely demise of model and reality tv star Anna Nicole Smith. But what you may not have known is that even a scandal in the wind such as this is suseptible to the lowercase L phenomenon. Mike G. submits this fine example of awkward lowercase L usage in current events, an outstanding occurrence worthy of the tabloid pages on its own.

Found on IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com, the first, best, and most shocking offense in this handwritten prison letter from Mark "HOllYWOOD" Hatten is the willfully given "SPERM SAMPlE", splashed on the yellow stationary (seen above) for us to soak in. Further down in the letter is the less offensive "HOllYWOOD", not as confusing because there is some variation in the height of the capital letters. Finally, at the bottom of the letter, we are treated to a double whammy with the request to "PlEASE CONTACT: ATTORNEY AT LAW, PAUl F. FEGEN" (click image on right to see full size).

I don't understand much about the laws surrounding custody of Anna Nicole's baby, but at least now I understand why this guy is behind bars.

PlAN B

Local lowercase L scout Jennifer S. found this eerie example on the popular Manhattan news and gossip site, Gawker. Jennifer was reluctant to send this photo in, assuming that hundreds of people would have already done the same. But so far she is the first and only.

So "The Pharmacy Is out off PlAN B". More importantly, do we have a PlAN L, for the day when these lowercase lechers have entrenched themselves so deeply in sign writing culture that the fine line between uppercase i and lowercase L becomes blurred to the point of CASE CHAOS?! Now I'm upset that the pharamcy has no more morning after pills, because, at the very least, those little poppers could prevent a whole new generation of lowercase L violators from ever being born.

Tight BElts

My buddy Berger Boy sent this to me a while ago, but I didn't post it because it doesn't quite fit the requirements for a perfect lowercase L sighting. But after giving it some more thought, I decided to share this one with you because of its uniqueness. Notice the nonsensical yet consistent styling of BElts, beginning with capitals B and E, and cascading down with lowercase "lts". I'm not sure what to make of this from both a stylistic and psychological standpoint. Did the auther suddenly forget that he was writing BELTS in uppercase letters? He obviously knows how to construct uppercase T's, as in "Table", and he can also do a nice lowercase "e" as with "Other". Is he tightening the BElts to fit into this sign? Maybe you can help solve this mystery.

We've got ClEARANCE, Clarence

Another submission from contributor, Jeremy D., in Springfield, Oregon, this Fred Meyer" marquee is proof that the lowercase L phenomenon can manifest itself in formats other than handwriting. While it is unclear whether the sign master had run out of uppercase L's, we can exclude the possibility that this violation was a result of letter ClEARANCE, as there is plenty of space on both sides of the text. Surprisingly, I couldn't find any information about this on the Fred Meyer FAQs web page, but if you would like to take a role in saving humanity, put down your global warming petitions and leave a comment for Fred Meyer, letting him know how poorly this insane signage reflects on his business.

ClOSE to Home

I wasn't looking forward to venturing out into the freezing cold today, but my elderly neighbor Bob was all out of cigarettes and could not find the strength to go to the store himself. So on my way out, just a few paces in front of me, what do I see flapping in the wind? These two orange signs, "ROAD ClOSED" on both corners of the street. I imagine the road will be closed for a film crew, as they often shoot movies and commercials in this picturesque neighborhood called Park Slope. But this one hits way too ClOSE for comfort. What are the odds that a perfect example of lowercase L misuse, printed on not one, but two signs, would present itself just footsteps away from my home? Now I'm quite sure there is a conspiracy, and Hollywood is in on it.

Could this be the work of the same street sign author who penned this orange monstrosity in Manhattan?

A little HElP?

Submitted by lowercase L fan, "MacMan" Jeremy:

I apologize for the crummy quality of my digital camera [..], but the HElP is pretty clear. My wife was getting mad at me for taking a picture and the light turned green, so I was under considerable pressure. I have had many other sightings here in Eugene, but have been too far away to get a good picture, plus my wife doesn't approve of me taking pictures of bums :( (Not even hers!)

Jeremy's wife may have a problem with photographing homeless people, but I don't. Not when it comes to lowercase L's. And protecting the country.

Aisle ClOSED

Found in a grocery store on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, these two check-out lanes were ClOSED to customers ... and sanity. Apparently a single employee was put in charge of writing warnings on these conveyor belt blocks, but it looks like they picked the wrong man for the job. Maybe he should go back to stocking shelves or bagging, or living in a hole in the ground. If I ever find the anarchist bastard who did this, they're going to need a ClEANUP IN AISlE 11.

WIlD WIlD RICE

Happy New Year, lowercase L enthusiasts! I just got back from nearly a month abroad in Israel, only to find that this lowercase L blog has been listed on kottke.org as "the best niche blog yet"! So I figured I'd better get back to posting.

I'll start off 2007 with a photo I took shortly before I left for Israel. The difference between L's and i's should be as clear as day and night, but this menu board from Night & Day on 5th Avenue here in Park Slope proves this isn't always the case. Perhaps the author was raised in the WIlD, because no civilized human would write like that.

Fat Ioss

The following text is from SPAM e-mail I received:

Anatrim -- The newest and most exciting fat Ioss product available - As scen on Oprah

Did you know obesity kiIIs more and more people every year? We know you hate the extra pounds, the ugly look and the social stigmata attached to fat people. Moreover, you can barely do anything about the appetite. This all sounds familiar? Then we have something for you!

It may be difficult to detect, but in this case of reverse lowercase L discrimination, many of the lowercase L's are actually uppercase i's. I'm assuming the spammers are trying to keep up with spam filters, which may recognize offending word pairs like "fat loss" and "obesity kills", so they've changed "loss" to "ioss" and "kills" to "kiiis" (with uppercase i's in place of the lowercase L's). This switcharoo could go unnoticed if your default font is set to sans serif.